Don’t Stop Talking, Ever!!

Was watching a Marathi serial.

A lady just loses a very big tender. She is upset. While walking back to her cabin, her phone rings. She picks it up, snaps back say, “I will call you later”. Once she is back in office, gets busy with her work.

Cut to scene 2.

The lady reaches her home. Her 8 year old daughter is reading a book, she is angry. Lady’s husband says, “It’s like this since evening. She is angry and won’t tell me what’s wrong”.

Lady sits besides her daughter.

Lady: “Kai zaal?”

Daughter: No answer.

Lady: “Common, tell me, why you had called in the afternoon?”

Daughter: “Tula kai tyach. Do you really care? You just snapped back at me.”

Lady: “Ok. Sorry. I was really busy at that time. Common tell me”

Daughter: No Answer.

Lady: “Apan tharval ahe na? kahi hi zaal tari bolan thambvayach nahi. Radaych chidayach, ordaych, pan bolana thambvayach nahi” This translates roughly to “We had decided that we will not stop talking. If it’s necessary argue, fight, quarrel, and shout. But don’t ever stop talking.

Daughter: "But I don’t want to talk to you on this topic."

Lady:  “Alright. Ok let me start preparing for dinner then. Will you like to Rice or Chapati. And common you have to prepare for your poet reciting competition."

Daughter: “I don’t want rice. And, what competition? That’s already done last week. You don’t even remember this much.”

Lady: “Oh is it. Anyway, forget it. Then get started with your homework.”

Lady starts acting busy.

Daughter: “And you don’t even remember that today was result day. That’s why I had called you. I was so excited that I won!! But you snapped at me “

Lady: Finally she has reached bottom of this. “Aah. That’s the reason why my darling is angry then”

Dad: “You are great. I am been trying to get this out of her so long. But she was just not talking with me.”

That’s it. End of story. Point is never ever stop talking to your loved ones. When you feel annoyed, angry, frustrated with other peoples behavior. Its ok. Give them a chance. Talk to them. If you keep talking, you will realize the reason for the way they are behaving, the way they behaved.

I think this is what they call not being Judgmental. Every one has his/her own story.  

Don’t take it personally??

Have ever heard this?

Nothing personal. Don’t take it personally.

What does this mean really? I am a human being and every emotion is fussed together. There are no separate compartments in brain for professional things, personal thing, house hold things etc.

A thing said to a person, be it about the work, about a decision, about the opinion is of course going to be personal!!!

Had seen the movie "Erin Brockovich"?

Julia Roberts vents out her feelings in one scene after she gets to know that there will be someone else also working on her case! She says how can they do that to her. Her boss says “Hey, it’s a professional decision. Nothing personal!”.

“Not personal?! That is my work, my sweat, my time away from my kids! If that's not personal, I don't know what is!” Something of that sort. Completely agree with her.

I tend to take everything very personally. There is a mail send to a group. And I feel it’s specifically pointing to me. Ok, probably this is rather taking things to personally. May be considering it this way is the other way of saying the world revolves around me which immediately translates to Ego, Arrogance. But my point is why not to take it personally if it drives me to excellence? It’s just that I have not yet learned to take everything in that positive approach. But I am learning! J

That’s the choice you make when someone challenges your ability, directly or indirectly:

1. Ignoring it saying it was not really for you. Nothing personal, you see.

2. Taking it personally and sulking.

3. Taking it personally and making sure you never let anyone say the same thing for you again, including yourself.

4. Taking it personally. But saying that’s the way you are. Take it or leave it.    

Kaal ala hota, pan vel ali navati

Difficult to translate it.

But here goes on of the stories….

One pigeon, was roaming in market. He saw ‘Kaal’ (No parallels here. But let’s say Yumraaj). Kaal smiled while looking at pigeon. Pigeon thought, “Oh god! Why he smiled? I am going to die!!”

So he goes to King of birds the Eagle. The Eagle tells him,” Don’t worry. I will send you far far away, where Kaal won’t be able to find you.”

He sends pigeon with his friends to that far away place. The moment pigeon reaches at that place he dies!

After death, the Pigeon meets Kaal. He asks Kaal, “Why did you smile at me, when you saw me in market?”. Kaal says, “I saw your death. I saw you are going to die just the next day at a far away place. I wondered how you will reach there. There must be some mistake. That made me smile.”

So is death. Who is going to die, where he is going to die, some how it’s just predestined!

Like the Boeing in Hudson. Unka Kaal aagaya tha, par vaqt nahi aaya tha. J

A Bad Haircut

Movie: Legally Blond-II

Nice movie. There was a scene in it by Reese Witherspoon.

Reese is addressing an assembly. Don’t remember what it was exactly. But it was on some what similar lines.

She says, “There was this new high tech parlor that opened up in city. I went there to get a new hair cut. I was intimidated by all the posh stuff and professionalism. They started by shampooing my hair. No no no, that’s a wrong shampoo to use. I told my self. Buy kept mum. I thought they know what they are doing. They did treatment on my hair and started to color it brown. O oh my god. No no brown. Brown looks horrible on me. But again I kept mum. They are the best in business. They know what they are doing. After a while I stood in front of the mirror. And ….And  …. And it was disastrous. I was looking horrible. It was the most pathetic haircut I ever have had. Who do I blame? The parlor? According to them they have given me the best haircut. But for me it was the worst. The whole thing could have been avoided easily, if only I would have more involved in the process. If only I have told them I have not so good experience with the shampoo they are using, I hate brown color on my hair. What happens to you could not be blamed on anyone else if you have not been involved with it completely.”

So, make sure you get involved in the things you are doing. Else you too will end up with a real bad haircut! :)

Perspective

I was sitting in a car, besides driver seat. The person driving was speeding. How many times have you found yourself completely helpless in such scenario? You can see what’s happening. You tell the person driving, hey watch out next car, watch out signal, go slow. The guy obviously says chill I know what I am doing. He has his leg on break and is aware of the speed, in control.

In same car, person sitting on the back seat are happily looking out of the window or chattering away.

The same car, going on same road, with same speed. But 4 different people perceiving it differently. 

The driver, driving the scenario. In control, confident. 

The person besides driver, completely aware about the whole scenario, but helpless.

One person on back seat, not completely aware about whole scenario. But enjoying it nevertheless.

Other person on the back seat, not completely aware about whole scenario. But indifferent.

Same car, same scenario, but 4 different approaches. The approach is however not by choice but by place. Sometimes we just forget that.